Table of Contents:
Developing a Safety Plan
What is a Safety Plan?
My Personal Safety Plan
What Can I Do Before a Violent Incident
What I Can Do During a Violent Incident
My Child(ren's) Safety
What
Can I Do When I Am Living In A New Place
Safety
In My Neighbourhood
How
I Can Increase My Safety At Work
Safety With A
Court Order
Emotional Well Being
Safety for
Women in Special Circumstances (Rural Women, Women with Disabilities,
Immigrant Women
Leaving the abuse behind is not a decision to be taken lightly. There are, of course, many factors to be considered. We hope the information on the sites collected will help you with your considerations or, should you have already decided to leave, assist you while preparing a safety plan.
What is a Safety Plan?
Making a safety plan involves identifying the
steps you can take to increase your safety and helps to prepare you and
your children in advance for the possibility of further violence.
This plan was adapted from information provided in several Domestic
Violence/Woman Abuse Safety Plans. In particular, we have referred to
plans developed by the Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse, Kathy Cawthon,
Metropolitan Nashville Police Department and Women's Community House.
back to top of page ▲ My Personal Safety Plan
While I do not have
control over my abuser's violence, I can make myself and my children
safer by planning actions that will help us deal with the abuse.
I will use this plan as a guide and reminder to help me find ways to be
safe. If I am concerned that my abuser will find a printout, I will
write the points I believe apply to me on a separate piece of paper and
hide it in a safe place.
I will review and update this plan on a regular basis so that I will be
ready in case my situation changes.
What I Can Do Before A Violent Incident
If I believe my partner will be violent, there are a number of things I can think about in advance.
I can prepare to leave by doing some of the following things:
- An extra set of keys for the apartment or house and vehicle
- Small bills and change for taxis and telephone call
- Identification papers - passport, social insurance card, birth certificates, immigration papers, citizenship card, aboriginal status card
- Driver's licence and registration
- Health cards and children's immunization records for myself and my children
- Divorce and custody papers
- Restraining orders, peace bonds, any other court orders
- Bank books, cheque book, credit cards, mortgage or loan papers
- Lease/rental agreement, property deed, business or partnership agreements, rent or mortgage payment receipts
- Address book
- Photograph of my (ex) partner to help identify him/her
- A list of other items I can pick up later
I can open a separate bank account in my name at _______________. I will request that any statements be sent to _______________ so that my abuser doesn't see them.
I can also check to see how much money is in our joint account in case I need to remove half the money quickly. If my abuser knows my account or PINnumber,
I will ____________________________________.
I can help my children escape by telling them _______________________________. I will teach them the number of the local police _________________ and other emergency numbers such as _____________________.
I will review and revise my safety plan every ____________________________.
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What I Can Do During A Violent Incident
I must be able to think and act quickly in order to keep myself and my children safe during a violent episode.
Here are some things I can do to increase my safety.
I trust ___________________ and ___________________ to tell them about my situation. I will use the code word _________________ to let them know I am in danger and to contact police immediately.
I can use the code word ________________ with my children so that they can protect themselves during a violent incident.
I will look in each room and figure out the best way to escape. I will try to stay out of places such as the bathroom and kitchen if there is no outside exit. I will also try to avoid places where weapons such as knives or guns are kept.
On the main floor, the best way to get out is _______________________________
On the second floor, the best way to get out is ______________________________
In the basement, the best way to get out is _________________________________
I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very dangerous, I should consider _______________ to calm down my abuser. I will remember that my first priority is to keep myself and my children safe.
I will review and revise this safety plan every _______________________
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My Child(ren)'s Safety
I can teach them to pick a safe room like _____________ , preferably with a lock and access to a telephone. It is important to me and to them that they get out of the room where the abuse is occurring as soon as possible.
I can tell them their most important job is to keep themselves safe. I will explain it using these words ____________________________________________________
I will teach them how to call for help. If they cannot safely get to a telephone in my home, I will talk to them about using our neighbour's ________________________ phone or the nearest payphone, which is located at ___________________________.
I will make sure they know they don't need money to dial an emergency number. If I have a cell phone, I will teach them how to dial 9-1-1 or other emergency number.
I will make sure they know their name and address if they need help. If we live in the country, I will teach them their address, including concession and lot number.
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I can rehearse what my
children will say when they call for help. For
instance, we can practice how to contact the police like this:
Dial 911.
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I will pick a safe place such as ______________to meet my children outside our home after the situation is safe for me and for them (so we can easily find each other). I will teach my children the safest route to the planned place of safety for them.
We will review and revise our safety plan every ________________________.
What Can I Do When I Am Living In A New Place
I may want to change the locks and put bars on the windows if I think my (ex) partner has a key.
I will talk to my children and tell them to _________________________________ if my (ex) partner shows up.
I will teach my children how to dial police or ambulance numbers. In my area, the number for police is ________________.
I will keep copies of any court orders with me at all times. I will give copies of these orders to (school, day care, police) _________________________________________ and tell them to call me if they see my partner. I will give these people copies of my partner's photograph so they can recognize him/her.
I can install a peephole my children can use. I will tell them to ___________________ if my abuser shows up.
I can get these features installed on my telephone (call blocking, call display, unpublished number, speed dial) ________________________to increase my safety.
I can block email messages from my partner or switch Internet service providers. If my abuser can access my email password, I can __________________________________.
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I can have the emergency
numbers in my area ready by writing them out. Police ________________________________________________
Hospital Women's Shelter |
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I can install fire detectors and
extinguishers on each floor. I will put them
_______________________________________.
Here are some other things I can do to increase my safety __________________________ |
Safety In My Neighbourhood
I will tell _________________________ to call
police if they hear a fight in my home.
I will tell __________________________ who can and cannot pick up my
child(ren).
I can ask ______________________ to look after my children in an
emergency situation.
I can ask ________________________ to keep my emergency escape plan
items at their house.
I can switch banks, grocery stores and other services so that I can
avoid running into my abuser. I can go to _________________ at different
times than I did when I was with my partner.
I may want to change my doctor, dentist or other professional services
if I think my partner may track me down there. I will explain my
situation to ________________.
I can make sure my name is not on my mailbox or in an apartment
directory.
How I Can Increase My Safety At Work
I can tell (my boss, co-workers, human resource
personnel) ______________ of my situation.
I can ask _____________________ to help screen my telephone calls at
work. I can also use voice mail to screen calls.
I can block unwanted emails or send them to a folder where I do not have
to read them.
When I leave, I can ask ________________________ to walk me to my
car/the bus/the train to ensure my safety.
I can get a "call police" banner for my car to alert other drivers.
If I run into problems on my way home I can
________________________________.
If I agree to see my abuser, I can go to a public place such as
________________________ so that we will not be in an isolated place.
Some other safety precautions I can take
are________________________________
Safety With A Court Order
If my partner destroys the order, I can get another copy at _______________________
If I move to another town or district, I will notify the local police of the court order, my new location and my partner's history of violent behavior. I will do the same thing if I often visit other cities/towns/countries. The numbers I need to call are ______________.
I will tell the following people (boss, religious leader, close friend, counselor) ______________________________________ about the order, including all conditions.
Taking Care Of My Emotional Well-Being
I realize that I have been through a lot and I may be feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. I know that building a new life free of violence takes a great deal of courage and requires a lot of energy.
Here are some things I
can do to take care of my health.
I may choose as many of these options as I feel comfortable doing.
- Attend as many Crisis Counselling group sessions as I can.
- Become involved in community activities to reduce feeling isolated.
- Take a part-time job to reduce isolation and to improve my finances.
- Enroll in school to increase my skills.
- Join support groups of other women to gain support and strengthen my relationships with other people.
- Take time for myself to read, meditate, play music, etc.
- Spend time with people who make me feel good and provide support.
- Take part in social activities (e.g. movie, dinner, exercise).
- Take care of my sleep and nutritional needs.
- Keep a personal journal to write about my feelings, especially when I am feeling low or vulnerable. I will keep it in a safe place or burn it.
- Take time to prepare myself emotionally before entering stressful situations like talking with my partner, meeting with lawyers, or attending court.
- Try not to overbook myself - limit myself to one appointment per day to reduce stress.
- Be creative and do whatever makes me feel good.
- Write something positive about myself everyday - my own personal affirmations.
- I will not find my comfort in excessive use of alcohol or food - it only serves to increase my depression.
- Avoid excessive shopping and impulse buying.
- Join a health club or start an exercise program. It will increase my energy level and sense of well being.
- It's OK to feel angry, but find positive and constructive ways to express my anger.
- Remember that I am the most important person to take care of right now.
I will review and revise the sections of the safety plan that apply to me every __________________ to make sure I am on track.
Safety for Women in Special Circumstances (Rural Women, Women with Disabilities, Immigrant Women
If I cannot leave my home because of disabilities, I will contact __________________ to make arrangements for transportation when my partner is not there.
I do not feel comfortable speaking English, so I will ask _________________ to translate or help me find someone to talk to me in another language.
I can ask ___________________ if I am concerned about my animals' welfare should I leave.
Here are some other things I can do to feel
safer
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Tel: (905) 728-4968
email: info@vpcc.ca